FOUR years ago, this column dealt with the subject of living by yourself – alone and without a partner – and what happens to some who meet others and decide to form a friendship.
Little did I know back then that I would be one of those many people living in houses by themselves. But it just shows how things can change from year to year.
Those living alone are fiercely independent and value their privacy, but still enjoy the company of others. Many, free of the everyday lifestyle, embark on holidays, outings, and activities that living together may have restricted in the past.
They are independent – until suddenly they meet someone. Maybe it’s a person they’ve known as a friend for years, or someone they connect with in another way. The heart flutters! What do they do? How would you react?
Some might say that this situation would never happen to them, but sometimes it does – rarely, but it does.
Living alone, one gets to choose so many things: programs to watch on TV, bedtimes, clothes, food, outings, and really everything that life has to offer.
And now, with another to consider, the whole dynamic changes. Finances are a huge factor for some – you may have accumulated considerable wealth. Would there have to be some sort of agreement made between parties?
What would the children think about the situation?
There are not only the two of you to consider now – maybe both of you have grandchildren. Suddenly there are many people involved. Whose house do you choose to live in? So many variables.
Maybe you are in your seventies or eighties, and marriage may be a bridge too far. Maybe you just want companionship and can live apart, together.
This is where LAT comes in – “Living apart together” – and it presents a solution to the quandary of what to do in these situations.
A couple who have developed strong, loving feelings may decide to live apart, choosing to reside in separate places. In doing so, they solve a lot of problems and create much less upheaval for their families.
They may get together on a regular basis, share a few overnight stays, but to all intents and purposes, live their own lives and manage their own finances.
Some aged care homes are not as strict as they once were and now allow couples to share rooms, finding this a great way to ease the burden of loneliness that so many seniors face.
Is “Living apart together” something you would contemplate?
(My Aged Care offers an information website for those “partners” who wish to find out more about life in aged care homes.)
