MANY of us have been firing up the bbq of late enjoying these great balmy afternoons.
As I was watching the onions caramelise and sausages slowly cooking on the weekend I reflected on one of the few big disputes I have ever had with my youngest brother.
It’s worth recounting because it also carries with it a warning to all.
It happened at a family Christmas reunion when I made the fatal mistake of picking up a fork and taking over my brother’s home barbecue.
Without realising it I had broken the unwritten law that states in capital letters “you cannot turn the meat or move items on the bbq unless you have permission from the person who owns and is cooking the bbq”.
My mistake was made even worse because as every novice bbq chef knows, you should never prick the sausages to release the fat while they are cooking (I only found this out later).
Men being king of the bbq seems to date all the way back to cave dwellers at the beginning of civilization, when the male went out to hunt for meat and cooked it to impress the women.
Control of the food and the fire was all about male prestige and dominance.
Fast forward to the present day and men continue to like barbecuing because of its macho overtones and because it’s really about male bonding.
Men like to stand around in groups while barbecuing and brag about their BBQ cooking skills.
Searching for more detailed information on this subject I found this typical scenario of the backyard bbq process.
BACKYARD BBQ ACTION PLAN
- The woman buys the food.
- The woman makes a salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.
- The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is standing beside a now hot bbq with a group of mates – all have a beer in hand.
- The man places the meat on the grill.
- The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery (add to that the condiments, napkins, ice, paper cups and all side dishes as mentioned above)
- The woman sees flames and smoke and comes out to tell the man that it looks like the meat is burning.
- This prompts a detailed discussion with his mates who at no time have been allowed to touch the bbq.
- He thanks her and assures her that everything is under complete control, although the person who asked for the rare steak may be a little disappointed.
- The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman who notes some meat is burnt.
- The woman runs around to prepare the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
- After eating, the woman clears the table, carries everything back inside and does the dishes.
- Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
- The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing her.
This description of the roles for men and women at a backyard barbecue sounds about right, although I am sure that many women have now made some major amendments to the action plan or are about to.
